Photo by Jeffrey James Pacres

I recently blogged about the importance of being able to write clearly and with style, and I made the point that good writing isn’t necessarily formal.

As a writer, you have a voice.  That voice may be formal or informal, serious or humorous, deadpan or snarky. You may write in a natural voice, which is to say you write the way you talk.  Or your writing voice may be completely different from your speaking voice.

All of this is fine.  Because it’s bad writing I’m worried about.

How can you spot bad writing?  Here are some telltale signs:

1.  You need a dictionary.

Good writing is about precision.  The objective is to find precisely the right word.  There are no bonus points for using $2 words, unless the $2 word is exactly the word you need.

2. You get halfway through the first paragraph before you cross your eyes, shake your head and have to start again.

If a piece of writing is confusing, there are a couple of possible reasons.  Maybe you’re just not used to the style yet. This happens to me a lot when I’m starting a new novel.  I’m just not in the groove yet, and that’s okay.

Another possibility is that your grammar is too complex.  Are you trying to combine three sentences into one?  Maybe you have a very good reason for that.  Know what it is.

Confusing writing can also be a symptom of bad diction. I once attended a talk by a civic activist who used the wrong word constantly.  Her speech felt off kilter to me.  I wasn’t surprised to find that her book had the same flaws.  Study words. Respect them. Know what they mean.

3. You encounter abbreviations or TXT speak in the wrong context.

“OMG! WTF!”

I am so that person.

But, there is a place for TXT speak and other abbreviations.  That place is called “texting.” I’ll also give you social media, at least on your personal pages.

When you’re writing an email to a client, or crafting a blog post, there is never, ever, ever any reason to type “ur” instead of “your.” Ever.

And everything else…

Of course, these distinctions are on top of everything else.  Use good grammar. Use spell check, but don’t rely on spell check. Draft, then wait a day to edit. Or get someone else to edit your work.

All those tricks you learned in school really work.  Use them. Because it’s your reputation on the line.

Photo by Sean

Dear Words,

Sam is learning to read.

It’s taken a while for him to get interested.  But last night he got a birthday party thank you note in the mail from his friend Adam and read every word himself.

Today was my day to open applesauce during lunch at Kindergarten while Mrs. Hauck and Mrs. Toohey took a break. When I arrived, Mrs. Hauck was teaching writing.  The children sat at their tables, clutching their fat pencils, tongues sticking out of the corners of their mouths as they made their letters.

I hardly remember those days, when every word was a puzzle, a tiny box, sealed up tight, with a surprise inside. If only I could get it open.

I do remember the second grade. We were reading aloud in class. It was a book about horses (something of a specialty of mine).  It was my turn. My teacher said, “Oh, Ann, you’ll have trouble with this one.”  The passage was about a horse on a longe line. I read it. My teacher was surprised I knew the word “longe.” I can still taste the pride of knowing a word I wasn’t expected to know.

I used to teach English to a Chinese woman in my neighborhood. If your ear hurts, we call it an earache. If your head hurts, we call it a headache.  If your arm hurts, it’s not an arm ache. We just say your arm hurts.

In my head, Mrs. Hauck says, “Goofy English.”

Words, I love you.  I love how you keep me up at night. I love how, if I follow a few simple rules, I can assemble you in ways that are surprising, funny, and sometimes even breathtaking.  I can use you to help someone understand how to market her business, but I can also use you to make my mother cry, or make my husband laugh so hard his head turns red and we worry he’s stopped breathing.

Thanks words, for being good to me. And for giving your gifts to Sam too.

Love,
Ann

Photo by Simply Bike

The other day, I was trying to think of a topic for the blog.

I thought and thought (in between bouts of sobbing along with the Les Misérables soundtrack).

Then I clicked around on StumbleUpon for about 45 minutes.

It dawned on me that I had nothing to say.

I considered writing a post about how clicking around on StumbleUpon is a good way to come up with topics for your blog, but then I remembered that recent experience had proven otherwise.

Finally I decided to post an infographic I found the week before and almost posted before deciding that would be a cop-out.  Desperate times, right?

I started writing the introduction for the infographic, and something else came out.

A post.  A good one, actually.

It was finished in about 8 minutes, which might be a world record. Wait here while I call Guinness.

In my experience, if you have something to write, there’s no substitute for, you know, writing.  And the worst thing you can do is talk yourself out of writing by crying “I have nothing to say!”

You do.  You just don’t know it yet.

Try and see.

Photo by curtfleenor

Straight up writing advice.  Ready?

Use fewer words.

Sure, there are writers out there who use complex language to awe-inspiring effect.

I could name any number of literary giants, but instead I’ll introduce you to David Thorne, whose hilarious posts send me spiraling into a word candy coma.

Seriously, it’s like a roller coaster ride of brilliance, made all the more compelling by drawings of cats and the Australian accent I imagine while reading it.

Back to my point

For every David Thorne, there are a thousand equally skilled writers who get the job done in the fewest possible words.  Like Ernest Hemingway, for example.

And sadly, for every Hemingway, there are a hundred thousand writers whose sentences look like this:

In an effort to compensate for their individual lack of knowledge on either the IT or Facility requirements, many customers…

How about this instead?

To compensate for knowledge gaps, many customers…

That’s like, half as long.  And twice as precise.

I see this all the time.

Too many words!  Stop it.

Here are some tips:

1. Instead of using a modifier, think of a better verb. Which is better?  He said softly?  Or, he whispered?  Or, he spat? Or, he sighed?

2. Don’t be redundant. Your readers are smarter than you think they are. If you’ve been talking about IT or Facility requirements for 23 pages, you don’t need to say that again here.

3. Put your ideas in a logical order.  Every time you sit down to write, you’re making an argument.  Treat it as such.

Do you think this rant came out of me perfectly? 

Or do you think I sat here for an hour editing it, testing every idea, reordering things repeatedly, and deleting with abandon?

(It’s the second one).

Bonus personal pet peeve

4. Never say something happened “suddenly.”  Of course it happened suddenly.  Doesn’t everything happen suddenly?  First it isn’t, then a moment later, it is. Suddenly is inherently redundant.

How to write

1. Get it all out on paper.
2. Strike any idea that raises more questions than it answers.
3. Go back to the beginning and reduce your word count by 1/3.
4. Add new ideas as they come to you, but only if they’re brilliant.
5. Go to step 2.

Be ruthless.