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Archive for the ‘Motivation’ Category

Weekend edition

May 4, 2013

My scrumptious supper.

Do you take weekends off?

I don’t.

Don’t think I’m proud of that.

I’m not.

This evening, Dave and I relaxed on the patio with glasses of wine in hand. I’d taken a couple hours to clean the grill and cook the magnificent supper pictured at left.

As we enjoyed the memory of our meal, I asked Dave if he’d heard back from the HVAC guy.

“Nah,” he said. “It’s the weekend.”

“Well,” I replied, “if you called me about a job that you needed done by Thursday, and it was the weekend, I’d damn well call you back.”

Pause.

Is that the right answer?

Is there a right answer?

Before I had Sam, I looked forward to holidays because they meant I could work without interruption.

Now…well, holidays aren’t quite the same.

I’m posting on a Saturday.

I didn’t mean to post on a Saturday. I got busy. I missed my second post this week. I considered skipping it.

But then the shame came. The shame of not living up to my own ideas of who I am.

That particular shame cuts both ways.

The introvert charger.

I recently suggested that someone should invent an introvert charger. Just plug yourself in and get your mojo back after a week of wretched PEOPLE.

My friend Kimberly said, “I’m already doing this. I’m sitting outside with a glass of wine.”

I’m not going to tell you to put. down. the. cellphone. Although maybe you should.

Maybe just for today.

Posted in Motivation, Running Your Business, Time Management | 2 Comments »

How to Succeed In Business (or whatever career you choose)

April 26, 2013

Photo by Tony Hall

My run-in with my friends at McDaniel College on Monday night has gotten me thinking.

If we chunk it all down, is it possible to come up with a list of core competencies that are essential to career success?

Here’s my list:

1. Write clearly and with style.

This came up several times on Monday night. Granted, all the members of the panel were English nerds, but we agreed that learning to communicate our ideas clearly in writing was essential.

Think about all the writing you do in the course of a day. Email, proposals, blog posts, instant messages. Most days I write WAY more than I talk. So learn how to make a compelling argument in writing.

If you make spelling errors, use txt speak, or regularly choose the wrong word, that goes right to your credibility. How can I know if your ideas are any good if you can’t express them?

That’s not to say all writing should be formal. Far from it. It’s important to have a voice, and there are times when that voice can and should be snarky, indignant or flat out funny.

But there’s a difference between informal writing and bad writing. Know what that difference is, and use it to your advantage.

(Here’s hoping there aren’t any typos in this post).

2. Be able to defend your ideas orally.

Even though writing well is critically important, you also need to be able to defend your ideas orally.

Nothing impresses a prospect more than the ability to generate ideas and recommendations on the fly. I think that comes mostly from experience, but looking for opportunities to practice public speaking can give you a leg up.

I’m not suggesting you become a bullshit artist. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying “I don’t know,” or “I’ll have to think about that.” But being able to design and deliver an effective presentation is a skill everyone needs to cultivate.

3. Have a point of view.

The fastest way to stand out from the masses is to have a point of view.

Anybody can repeat what others have already said. But it takes a certain courage to develop your own opinions. Have a philosophy of how your work should be done, and talk about it whenever and wherever you can.

Is there a prevailing point of view that differs from your own? Even better! Use skills 1 and 2 to write and talk about how your ideas are better.

You may be proven wrong, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Every great thinker has a few stinkers in their ideabook.

Have the courage to stand out and the universe will reward you with the attention you seek.

What do you think of my career advice? Anything you would add? Tell me in the comments.

Posted in Motivation, Running Your Business, Writing | Leave a Comment »

On Shyness (It’s Temporary)

April 23, 2013

Shyness is just a feeling! Like all feelings, it's temporary.

I had a fantastic time on the Hill yesterday.

Not Capitol Hill. THE Hill. My alma mater, McDaniel College.

The English Department and the Center for Experience and Opportunity co-sponsored a kickass panel called “What to Do With An English Major.” I was honored to be one of the panelists.

English Nerds Unite!

It’s been a while since I sat in a room full of English nerds. It was like coming home.

Since I never expected to become an entrepreneur, I was a little surprised that I wasn’t the only entrepreneur in the room. Several of the panelists had their own businesses, ranging from mobile development to costume design.

During Q&A, someone asked, “Did any of you think of yourselves as entrepreneurs when you were here at McDaniel?”

Every one of us said no. God, no. Absolutely not.

We were all classic English nerds, heads tucked into our books, hesitant to talk to anyone. “I was terribly shy,” I claimed. “One of the hardest things to learn when I started my business was how to talk to strangers.”

After the panel, one of my favorite professors from my McDaniel days, Dr. Kathy Mangan, slapped me on the back, laughing. “What were you talking about?” she exclaimed. “You were NEVER shy!”

And that gave me an idea about shyness.

Shyness is a feeling.

We tend to think of shyness as a personality trait. You’re born with it, and if you’re shy, you’ll be shy forever.

Not true.

Shyness is a feeling. It is simply your reaction to a lack of confidence in a given situation.

Like me, you may be in your element in Dr. Mangan’s American Lit class, but suddenly feel shy when you have to address a bunch of copier salesmen at the Chamber of Commerce breakfast.

Or, you may be great with the copier salesmen, but freeze up when you have to make a presentation to your Rotary club.

Like all feelings, shyness is temporary. If you keep doing the thing that scares you, you will gain confidence. And as you gain confidence, your shyness will go away.

Til then? Here’s my best advice.

Change the story you tell yourself.

As I told the students last night, I used to chant this mantra on my way to those early network events:

I am funny!
I am interesting!
Everyone wants to talk to me!

One time I got so fired up, I tried to give my business card to a parking attendant. (He stared at me blankly).

Can you overcome your shyness and learn to market yourself like the beautiful, authentic, fascinating person you are? You can. I’m living proof.

PS: I love you McDaniel-ites! Stay geeky, and believe in yourselves! You can do this.

Posted in Marketing, Motivation, Sales | 3 Comments »

On Fairy Dust

April 18, 2013

What would you do with a pile of fairy dust?

What I wouldn’t give for a big pile of fairy dust.

If I had a bag of that stuff, I’d sprinkle it on the other folks in the collective and they would magically conform to my wishes. I’d douse my kid and he’d stop saying “Son of a FISH!” over and over and over again. I’d blow some at my husband and he would start compulsively folding his own underwear.

But I digress. Back to business. I’d sprinkle it on a prospect and she’d turn into a glowing client. I’d heave some at a university, or government building, or giant corporate campus and have enough work for a year.

What would you do with a bag of fairy dust?

So, I don’t have any fairy dust.

Bummer, right?

I could sit around and lament my lack of fairy dust.

Or…

I could get off my butt and make things happen. I could fire up my team and wow that prospect and work my contacts inside that university.

Which path would you choose?

Which path are you choosing now?

Posted in Marketing, Motivation, Running Your Business, Sales | 2 Comments »

On Risk and Failure

April 16, 2013

Risk and reward go hand in hand in business and life.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about risk and failure. And risk of failure. Etc.

The Safe Thing

The safe thing is a seductress. She lures you in with her certainty and her comfort. Before you know it, you’re shacking up and splitting the electric bill.

Do you have options? Of course you do! The beauty of this place and time is that we all have more options than we could ever explore in a lifetime. In fact, the dizzying array of options can in itself be paralyzing.

But say there are two options you’re really interested in. Now consider, are you splitting the difference?

Because that’s the safe road. And the safe road is a prison.

My Story

Seven years ago I leased an office and hired six people and otherwise went absolutely batshit insane. And you know what? It was a horrible failure.

That experience still colors every decision I make today, if I let it.

But when I get to my center, away from the fear, I wonder: “Why should I let ancient failures limit me in this way? Is making a bad decision years ago proof that I will make a bad decision this afternoon?”

The answer, of course, is no.

So?

I think the only way to grow is to throw ourselves wholeheartedly into the thing that we want most. And the thing we want the most is very often the thing we fear.

What do you think?

Posted in Motivation, Running Your Business | Leave a Comment »

On Saying Yes

April 3, 2013

Yes!

Have you ever noticed that the car is the absolute best place to talk to your kids?

Last night, Dave reported the following car ride conversation:

Sam: “Dad, lately, mommy’s been saying yes to me.”

Dave: “About what?”

Sam: “Well, if I want a new video game or something, she lets me download it.”

Dave: “Wow, that must cost a lot of money.”

Sam: “No, dad! They’re free!”

For a long time, I had this weird mental block about letting Sam download too many games to my iPad. Even the free ones.

I guess, on some level, I thought video games would melt his brain. Or the iPad. And since he’s not quite a reader, a new game would require a lot of attention from me.

But mostly, I just had a weird mental block about it.

What’s in your way?

Sometimes it feels like we live our lives inside a glass maze. We can’t see the walls, but they keep us moving along the same well-worn paths.

Sometimes we reach a dead-end and get stuck for a while. It doesn’t take long to forget how you got there.

Because the walls are invisible, you can see your goal, but you can’t quite get there. It’s just out of reach, taunting you.

So what’s in your way? What invisible mental block is preventing you from getting where you want to go?

Saying Yes Makes All the Difference

Yes is the most powerful word in the universe.

When you say yes, you open yourself up to all sorts of possibilities that didn’t exist before.

With Sam, I’ve made it a point to say yes when I can, and that’s made a huge difference in our relationship.

You also have the power to say yes. You can say yes to this moment. You can accept what is and move from that place of acceptance.

No is the path of resistance. No is the deadend in the glass maze.

The good news? You can begin again. Begin by saying yes.

Posted in Motivation, Running Your Business | Leave a Comment »

Thinking: A How To Guide

March 29, 2013

Pondering

In his personal development masterpiece Lead the Field, Earl Nightingale contends that most people will do anything in their power to avoid using the great computer between their ears.

It’s telling that I can’t find the exact quote on the web. I suspect that’s because no one wants to believe it’s true.

The first time Earl accused me of avoiding thinking, I was annoyed. “But Earl,” I protested, “I think all the time! I can’t stop thinking!”

Then I realized, not all thoughts are created equal.

The Thoughts That Consume Us

Worry might actually be the lowest form of thought. I recently shared an item on Facebook that read “Worry is a mis-use of imagination.”

How many days (weeks? years?) have you wasted worrying about things that never came to pass? You calculated all your moves. You had a brilliant plan to mitigate a disaster that never materialized.

I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

The Thoughts We Consume

The best kinds of thoughts are the ones that feed us. These thoughts include:

Dreaming
Planning
Prioritizing
Scheduling
Imagining

These are the thoughts we avoid, according to Earl (and me).

Why? Because dreaming seems indulgent. And imagining isn’t something you can put on your timesheet.

But sitting with a challenge or an opportunity and really pondering it is the only way to create something new.

And if you’re not creating something new, what the hell are you doing here?

You’re Doing It Wrong

Are you extremely busy all the time?
Do you feel like you’re on a treadmill that’s moving faster and faster?
Do you have two speeds? Full on sprint and “Oops, I just drooled on myself”?

If so, you need to take some time to think, dream and plan.

What Will Happen If You Don’t Change?

You may not find the “refusing to think” quote on the interwebs, but you will find this equally disturbing one:

“People are where they are because that is exactly where they really want to be, whether they will admit that or not.”

- Earl Nightingale

Don’t be that guy. You’re better than that, and so am I.

Posted in Motivation, Running Your Business | Leave a Comment »

Good morning. I’m six!

March 19, 2013

Somebody’s six!

Sunday was Sam’s sixth birthday.

It was also the day of his elder brother’s engagement party, which meant that Sam’s milestone came and went without a whole lot of fanfare.

Monday was a whole different story.

Sam marched into school, chest puffed out. I trailed behind with an enormous tray of brownies, still warm from the oven. As we made our way down the hall, Sam greeted everyone he could find:

“Good morning. I’m six!”

Occasionally one of his friends would shake his head in disbelief. Sam insisted, “No really. I had my birthday!”

This gave me an idea about telling people who you are.

Facepalm

It’s happened to you more than once, I’d wager.

You met someone you know well at a networking event. A third joined you. Your friend started to introduce you and then…couldn’t remember what you do. Or anything else that’s worth saying about you.

She finally stammered, “Uh…well, Ann does web stuff.”

Thanks for the ringing endorsement, buddy.

The Art of Telling People Who You Are

There is an art to telling people who you are. You don’t want to be pushy or obvious, but hey, I haven’t met any actual mind readers lately, have you?

All too often, we bury ourselves in layer upon layer of obscurity, then expect everyone else to jackhammer through all that sediment to discover what’s at our core. Maybe even we begin to forget what’s down there.

This isn’t surprising. It’s so hard to be vulnerable. Much easier to encase ourselves in something hard and impenetrable.

But I can think of so many reasons that the world deserves to know you. And if I force myself, I can think of almost as many reasons that the world deserves to know me too.

It’s not an easy road, but it’s critical to becoming the person you were meant to be.

Posted in Marketing, Motivation, Personal, Running Your Business | 2 Comments »

On following your own advice

March 12, 2013

iStock_000001637391XSmall

See if this is true for you:

As a consultant, I spend a lot of time doling out advice. But when it comes to applying that advice to my own my business, I often fall short.

I’ve got the same reasons as you:

I’m too busy.
I’m too broke.
I’m too tired.
I’m not sure what to do.

Except that last one – that isn’t quite true. I know exactly what to do. I’m just not doing it.

I’m not sure why.

Chalk it up to fear of rejection, or downright laziness, but lately, I’ve been the marketer who couldn’t market her way out of a paper bag.

I’ve seen this same pattern over and over again with my clients, from organization development people who don’t pay attention to the health of their organizations to health coaches who are carrying around a few extra pounds.**

My point is, we all have moments when we long to take the easy way out – to spout off rather than apply what we know to ourselves.

But that doesn’t get you where you want to go. And it doesn’t do wonders for your clients’ confidence in you either.

So what advice do you regularly offer your clients? Do you walk your talk?

** Neither of these examples is about you.

*** Do you like my blog? Leave a comment!

Posted in Marketing, Motivation, Running Your Business, Sales | 3 Comments »

You are stronger than you know

March 5, 2013

Girl Jogging on a bridge

Yesterday was the last day of a tough week.

Last Tuesday, I had a checkup with my oncologist. I find our annual visits to be exhausting and extremely nerve wracking. This is utterly lost on my doctor who, despite being one of my favorite people, appears to be oblivious to the damage cancer has done to my soul.

After every visit, I resolve to cut him some slack. After all, he sees sick people every day. To him, I am a victory, a fair damsel snatched from the jaws of death.

Oh, the checkup? Everything was fine.

On Wednesday, Ann died. The other Ann, who had confided in me about her recurrence six months earlier. Everytime I saw her, I’d take her aside and ask how it was going. “I’m doing great!” she’d say. “I survived this thing once, I’ll do it again!”

Her passing came as a complete surprise. I realized when I heard the news that I hadn’t seen her in a few months and kicked myself for not noticing.

Then, on Sunday, I learned that my best friend’s mother was also dying. Another breast cancer recurrence. She too would be ripped from the world too soon.

To say that these two cases shook me to my core would be a laughable understatement.

There’s a lot of horse trading that goes on in my mind. One of my coping mechanisms when I was sick was to reflect on how, because I was going through treatment, someone else wouldn’t have to. Someone who might have not been as strong as I was.

Now, the flipside of the coin. I’m fine, and two other women have died or are dying.

Nothing about any of this is fair or right.

Yesterday I got a pep talk for the ages from my friend Elaine. She said “You are stronger than you know.” This morning, Facebook continued the theme. My friend Krista Riddley posted this reminder: “The Secret: Keep Going.”

And in the end, that’s all we can do. We have to keep going. We have to keep making meaning while we can.

What other choice do we have?

Posted in Motivation, Personal | 4 Comments »